Better to invite than to convince

I've been working on a project recently and have noticed something interesting when I share my ideas with others. When I pitch my idea to them, it tends to get 'judged' - whether consciously or unconsciously.

Not in a harsh manner, but people seem to quickly adopt a posture of wanting to decide whether the idea is good or bad. Their instant instinct is to evaluate the idea, and to arrive at a conclusion of whether they will be for or against the idea.

A pitch of any kind naturally invites judgment.

But something interesting happens when I change the way I communicate.

Instead of saying, "Here's an idea I have, what do you think?" I say, "Here's an idea I have. How do you think I can improve it? "

Suddenly, the dynamic changes. They're no longer sitting across from me deciding whether my idea is good or whether they should support me.

Instead, they're beside me, trying to help me improve on the idea or solve the problem.

I've found that people really do want to help make things better. And sometimes, something unexpected happens. The advice becomes encouragement, which leads to an introduction, which then leads to an opportunity.

It makes me wonder how often I make things harder for myself because I'm trying to sell something when what I really need is to invite someone in.

People don't always want to be convinced. More often than not, inviting them into the conversation is far more valuable.