\"I'm a big coward\"

I recently finished watching this show on Netflix. It was a good, light watch.

But there was one bit of the show that stuck with me long after the show finished.

One of the characters admitted that she was a coward.

“People call me sensitive and say I make a big deal out of everything. Frankly, it’s all because I’m a big coward. I’m sensitive to crimes because I’m afraid of violence. I’m sensitive to discrimination because I hate rudeness and disrespect. I’m really afraid of the world. That’s why I want to be a pro bono attorney. I want to build a world where even cowards like me can live happily.”

Wow.

Ok, I know it’s a TV show. But to live to such conviction and courage; quiet courage that stems from being ‘afraid’ …. it’s admirable and humbling.

I’m working hard to be the right kind of coward.

The world is hurting these days. And so are the many people who live in it.

I’m afraid of people having no access to food or clean water. I’m afraid of illness and death that is preventable. I’m afraid of child poverty. I’m terrified of wars and violence and lack.

I’m terrified of people not knowing that there is hope.

That the kingdom of God is here, and will one day be here in all its fullness.

How will they know, unless someone shows them?

So the question isn’t if I’m a coward. I am; that’s undeniable.

But, am I the coward who tucks her tail in between her legs and hides under a rock?

OR

Am I the coward who does her teeny weeny part (no matter how little) in bringing God’s kingdom to earth?

I answer this question by choosing how I live my life every single day.

And the only way I can have courage in my cowardice is by allowing Christ to live in me. Through me. Because it’s in Him that I truly live.

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

A song by CityAlight that I love: Yet not I but through Christ in me