Lessons from The Miracles of the Namiya General Store

This was another good book that I found in the local library. There's something about slice of life Asian literature that tugs at my heartstrings, perhaps because it's a culture that I come from and understand.

A short summary: It’s about a general store owner who offers thoughtful advice and counsel to his correspondents. He is asked questions that range from seemingly nonsensical/joke ones to important, life-changing decisions. To add to the complexity, the store seems to exist in a time warp, allowing communication between the past and the future. It’s a space that changes many lives, with the stories and lives of all the individuals involved intertwining in a way that can only be explained by the divine. Three delinquents decide to hide out in this store in the wee hours of the morning after a foiled attempt at robbery; a decision that changed everything.

I wanted to record a few moments in the story that resonated with me:

1) It was a question that a kid posed to the store owner as a joke: “Tell me how I can get an A+ on a test without studying or cheating or anything.”

The response the store owner gave was intriguing: “Ask your teacher to test you on yourself. Since you’re the topic of the test, whatever you say will be correct.”

On one hand, it’s a ‘cheeky’ answer. It’s certainly an out of the box one. But on a deeper level, it’s insightful.

This answer gave me pause, because I’m not sure if I will be able to grade myself on a test about me. For sure, I know the facts: my birthday, my hair color, height, weight, etc. But there are also a lot of things that I don’t know the answers to.

This year, I’m turning 21 again. I’ve been 21 for quite a few years now. In the eyes of the world, I’m very much an adult, considering all the years I’ve been 21. I’m fit the definition of a grown up. But I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’m not quite sure what my passions are. Or my purpose. Or what God has in store for me. There are a lot of things I don’t have clarity on.

So even if I were to take a test on me, I don’t know if I’ll get an A+. I wouldn’t even know how to mark it, because I don’t have an answer key or marking scheme. But I wonder if that’s the point. Regardless of what my answer is, it will be correct …. even if it’s “I don’t know”. I guess that’s what life is: a process in which I find out more and be more of myself daily. Ultimately, I find myself in Christ who lives in me.

2) Something the store owner said: "There's something I've learned from years of reading people's letters/ In most cases, they already have an answer to their problem. They're asking for advice because they want to see if other people think they're making the right decision. That's why a lot of people send me a response after reading my advice. Maybe they had a different solution in mind."

I find this to be so true, particularly in coaching conversations (regardless whether I'm coaching or being coached).

Whenever we have a question, whether or not we realize it, we already have an answer deep within ourselves. When we seek advice or suggestions, it's because we want validation. We feel affirmed when the other party gives us the same 'answer'. When we don't receive the same answer, we do one of two things: we either are open to the new suggestion because it was something we hadn't thought of or we shut the new idea down because ours was better.

Either way, the process of asking and receiving is still valuable because it solidifies our thoughts and gives us the conviction to act. Whether the action is in tandem with the advice we received is not the point. The point is we end up taking action with a firm resolve. And that is what makes all the difference. Which incidentally, leads to #3 below....

3) The store owner also said: " Most of them are thanking me for how I helped them out. I appreciate it, but when I read them, I can't help but feel like my advice only worked because they put it into practice. If they hadn't had the resolve to do the work on their end, they wouldn't have gotten anywhere, no matter what I said."

Case in point. I think this one is self-explanatory.

4) A new perception that a man had watching the same movie (on the Beatles) twice.

When he first watched the movie as a teenager, he had this opinion: ".... their hearts seemed scattered, and their performance refused to come together."

He had an opportunity to view the same movie again in his adulthood. This time, he had this opinion: "But seeing them here, inside the bar, he got a different impression. The Fab Four were rocking out. They were having a blast. Sure, they were breaking up, but playing together here reminded them of how it all began."

He had had a different impression of them when he was younger, because he had only seen a projection of his own painful experience (he wasn’t getting along with his parents, and their hearts were not aligned). In other words, he was seeing them as he was, not as they were.

This passage reminded me exactly of that. We see people, things, experiences and circumstances as we are. If we're optimistic, we see the silver lining in every situation regardless of how bad things are. If we're negative, every good thing has a downside.

It begs me to ask the question: how and who do I want to be daily?

5) Something one of the delinquents who took shelter in the store said: "I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I feel like tonight, for the first time in my life, I've made a difference in someone else's life. Me, you know? An idiot like me made a difference........I'm not trying to get rich here. This is just the first time I've had a chance to seriously consider what someone else is going through, and maybe even help."

I got two insights from this. Firstly, humans have a deep-seated desire to make a difference, to help another. This desire to help was so strong that he was willing to stay in the store and risk capture, all because he wanted to help. Secondly, it's precisely because of this desire to help that we often dole out unsolicited advice. We think we're helping and solving problems by dishing out a whole list of answers, when sometimes all the person needs is a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.

We may have the right heart, but it's important to have the right tools to carry out our intention as well.

6) One of the delinquents had dropped an empty sheet of paper into the correspondence slot as a test to see if he will receive a response. This blank letter was answered in the final pages of the book. The response was so perfect, so appropriate that I will record it below, verbatim. Note: All credit goes to the author, Keigo Higashino and the translator, Sam Bett.

Dear John/Jane Doe,

It took all my brainpower to understand why you would bother to send me a blank sheet of paper. I'm an old man, after all. But I knew this had to be something extraordinary. I could spare no effort in crafting my response.

My mind isn't what it used to be, but I whipped it into shape, and I think I have finally managed to parse things out. This blank sheet symbolizes the absence of a map.

  Compare the people who write to me as lost, astray. In most cases, they have a map but just won't look at it, or don't know how to find their own location.

But my guess is neither applies to you. Your map has yet to be drawn. Which makes it impossible to decide where you're going, much less how you're going to get there.

Faced with a blank map, who wouldn't feel lost? It would puzzle anyone.

But try this on for size. A blank map means you can fill it in however you like. It's entirely up to you. Everything is open; the possibilities are limitless. It's a beautiful thing. I can only hope this helps you find a way to start believing in yourself, and to move through life with no regrets.

I thought I would never get to answer another letter. It gives me great pleasure to end on such a thorny riddle.

--- Namiya General Store

I think that's the perfect end to this reflection. May we go forth and draw our own maps!