My help arrived too late

Yesterday, I made a donation to a Givealittle page. I had known about the fundraiser for a week. It for someone with terminal cancer, with the hope of helping them do as many things as possible from their bucket list while they still had time.

I wanted to help. But at the time I first saw the fundraiser, I didn't have the cashflow in my account to contribute. So I did what we often do when we can't do something immediately: I put it off. I decided that I would do it on my payday.

Yesterday was payday, so I finally made the donation. But barely ten minutes later, an email arrived with an update from the fundraising organizer.

The person had passed away.

My help had arrived too late.

I sat with that for a long time. I had finally managed to extend a helping hand, only to realize that the person was no longer here to receive any of it.

My first thought was: I should have done it sooner.

If I had just donated when I first saw it, perhaps my money could have helped them do one more thing. Perhaps it could have contributed to a memory. Perhaps it could have made one day a little easier.

I'll never know. And that's the hard part.

I like to think that if I do the right thing, I can control the outcome.

If I give, I'll be able to see the difference.

If I help, I'll be able to make a difference.

But sometimes it doesn't. Not because I failed to care, but because I cared, and still didn't make it in time.

I think that's something I'm learning to make room for.

As much as I'd like to, I can't help everyone. I'm unable to respond to every need or anticipate every ending. I have no idea how much time someone has left, and I most definitely don't get to control when a window of opportunity closes.

But if there's one takeaway from this experience, it's that I shouldn't wait unnecessarily.

Tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Later isn't a certainty.

I don't know how much time I have with the people I love. I don't know when an opportunity to do good will disappear.

So I'm going to tell the people I love that I love them today. Send that message I've been meaning to today. Forgive the person I've been intending to today. Pray for that person today. Help that person I want to help today. Give what I want to give and can, today.

Yesterday, I learned what it feels like to have my help arrive too late. I pray that I will remember it the next time I find myself thinking:

I'll do it tomorrow.