Part 2: To join or not to join? The Order of the Mustard Seed (OMS)

My head has been swimming for the past week …. in a good way!

I shared the first wrestle post I wrote on the Order of the Mustard Seed with a friend and boy am I glad I did, because I got quite a few responses!

For those of you who responded – both on here and through my friend – thank you so very much. I am so grateful for the time and effort you took, because there were some things that I most definitely could not have untangled without a nudge in the right direction.

So as an update, here’s where my thoughts are at the moment:

1 – Covenants and vows are closely related, but they are not the same.

Massive credit to the person who pointed this out (THANK YOU, whoever you are!). Now that I’m aware, it cannot be more obvious, but I just didn’t/couldn’t see it at the time! Covenants are indeed God-initiated, God-centered relationships that involve two parties. Vows, on the other hand, can be initiated by humans. Vows are promises made by one (or both) parties to express a commitment within a relationship.

As an example (again, credit to the person who brought this to my attention), a marriage is a covenant. The promises/words spoken at the ceremony are vows. In the OMS, order members take their vows. In other words, they make a promise.

I don’t have a problem with that. But, I do still have a few teeny weeny hesitations because most (not all) examples of vows in the bible aren’t exactly exemplary. Jacob’s and Hannah’s vows in the bible of “if you do this, then I’ll do this” sound more like negotiations rather than good biblical examples of promises. Jephthah’s “if this, then that” vow is even more rash and definitely not a good example. I wonder if those stories may have been included as a reflection prompt for what not to do rather than what to do …. which leads me to #2 (note: refer to #6 for the Nazirite vow example).

2 – The idea of taking the OMS vows terrify me.

I’ve done the studies on the Matt 5 let your yes be yes verse. I’m aware of the context of not using God’s name (or any thing or place associated with His name) in vain. Which is why Jesus says to not swear by anything on heaven or on earth. Just let your yes be yes and your no be no. Do not use God in any way to manipulate another into thinking that your oath is more truthful or legit.

I understand that. But that’s also exactly why the idea of taking the OMS vows terrify me. They’re serious promises that I most definitely don’t want to break. But the bizarre thing is that I don’t know EXACTLY why they terrify me so much, even more than getting baptized. I’ve been baptized twice. The second time was because I wasn’t sure if I did it for the right reasons the first time.

I remember being eager and excited to be baptized. Just like I was eager to make my marriage vows. So why do the OMS vows scare me? I don’t have an answer to that yet.

On second thought, maybe I was terrified about marriage and baptism too. Perhaps the desire was stronger and therefore overshadowed the fear...? 🤔 I really don’t know. But I do know that being terrified is a better place to be in rather than being indifferent. Or confident.

A few things that seem to be nudging me towards the OMS:

3 – It’s fact that we do not live in an ideal world.

As mentioned in numbers 3, 4, and 5 in my previous post, we live in in-between times. The now-and-not-yet of the kingdom. Marriage is a thing. We eat more than just fruit and we’re still killing animals. As far as I’m aware (and I may be taking this a little too literally but humour me), wolves and lambs don’t live together, and leopards definitely don’t lie down with goats (Isaiah 11). So I cannot deny that the OMS vows are very much biblical and have a place in the world as we know it today.

4 – OMS principles and practices are like spiritual disciplines; a trellis that supports growth.

This is something discussed a lot at Spiritual Growth Ministries as well. The spiritual disciplines/practices (or whatever term we use for them) is not the fruit, nor is it the plant that produces fruit. But it provides a frame that supports the plant as it grows stronger and climbs higher.

However, having too many trellises can crowd the plant and hinder it from growing. There’s a delicate balance between having too many practices vs not having any/enough. Which brings me to #5.

5 – I like the balance the OMS brings to the being vs doing. Because it’s not either/or. It’s both/and.

I love the work we’re doing in the SDFP foundation program, but there is definitely an emphasis on the contemplative and on being. I love the work I do in the coaching space, but it’s the exact opposite in that it’s a lot of emphasis on action and doing.

The OMS rides this balance between being and doing really well. Yes, there’s prayer. But simultaneously, there’s action in being the answer to the very prayers that have been prayed. And that resonates with me deeply.

6 – The Nazirite vow is biblical. However, it seems to be just for a season (apart from a select few like Samson, Samuel and John) to express gratitude or to mark a season of spiritual dedication to God.

I don’t have much to add to this. It’s up to each one of us (myself included) to discern what God is inviting us into, whether for a season or for a lifetime. There have been quite a few things pointing me in this direction – which is why I’m wrestling with this in the first place – so it’s a continual process of asking, listening, and discerning until I’m sure. But sometimes the only way to determine the right path is by taking a step, which brings me to #7.

7 – Applying is a part of the discernment process.

This was something a friend told me ages ago, when I was trying to decide whether or not to apply for a job. I wasn’t sure if the job was the right one for me, and I was sitting on it and praying about it for ages. It wasn’t until I spoke to this friend and she mentioned this that it became really clear that I should pray about it, and then step out and trust God to work. To trust that God can either open or close doors as He sees fit, and that there are other wise men and women sitting at the other end of the decision-making process as well. That it's not all just up to me .... which is a relief!

The OMS has a process. After the season of exploration, there’s a discernment call with other order members and then a whole year of preparation, which in itself is a discernment season. A time to decide if the vows and practices of the OMS are the right fit. The whole process has been well designed and well thought out, so I’m sure it works.

So!

After all that praying, mental wrestling, reading, writing, reflecting, contemplating, watching videos, studying the bible, debating with friends, and hurting my brain with all that thinking, I’ve finally booked in my discernment call.

We’ll see where God leads 🥰

A note for those of you who have read and send your thoughts my way, thank you so so much for reading and for your input! It has been an invaluable exercise to articulate my thoughts into a (somewhat) coherent argument and receive feedback, I so appreciate you! 🙏