The luxury of space

I often have clients who are super busy. They hurry from one thing to another, and get stressed about trying to fit everything in their day. Most of the time, sleep is the first thing to take a backseat. And we often have to end up coaching about creating margin. Once they make some room in their schedule, they breathe a bit easier and their anxiety levels fall.

But more often than not, after a few weeks of having this margin, they find something else to do. A new responsibility. A new project. A new commitment. And the cycle inevitably starts again.

It takes a lot of coaching and a commitment to keeping the margin to break this cycle.

It makes me wonder why we're so eager to stay busy. To keep our schedule packed.

Especially since space is an indication of wealth and luxury.

In real estate, the larger someone's home, the wealthier the person is (in general). The more legroom you have on a plane, the higher the price. Not everyone can afford to fly first class. Only a wealthy person can afford to hire out a whole restaurant for dinner. Similarly, only a wealthy person can afford a private beach.

We seem to pay extraordinary amounts of money for just a little bit more room. We desire more room, more space, and more margin. I don't know about you, but I definitely prefer flying first class to economy.

Yet when it comes to our schedule, it's ironic that we do the exact opposite.

We finally get a free evening .... and immediately look for something to fill it with. We clear our weekends .... and then wonder what activity we can do. We finish a big project .... only to start another before we've even enjoyed the breathing room.

It's as though having margin on our calendar makes us uncomfortable. Somewhere along the way, we've confused fullness and busyness with fruitfulness.

We've come to admire the person who says, "I'm so busy," almost as though it's proof that they're important. Ask someone how they're doing, and "Busy!" has become the default answer. We wear it almost like a badge of honour.

But why?!

If space is the very thing we associate with wealth everywhere else, why do we refuse to be wealthy with our time? Why do we work so hard to create margin, only to spend it the moment we get it?

I wonder if it's because the margin is exposing.

When I'm not busy, I'm left alone with my thoughts. When there isn't another task demanding my attention, I have to decide who I am without my productivity. When there is room to breathe, I cannot longer measure my worth by how much I've accomplished.

Busyness can become a surprisingly comfortable hiding place.

It gives me permission to not think too deeply, to not grieve, to not reflect, to not ask difficult questions. Constant activity creates enough noise that I never have to sit in silence and just be.

But silence is where wisdom often grows. Space is where creativity appears. And rest is where strength returns.

So perhaps it's time we stop being busy chasing luxury while giving away the one luxury that matters most: space in our calendar.

After all, the wealthiest person isn't the one with the largest house or the private plane.

It's the one who has space left in their day.