When anger is appropriate, but the response needs to be tamed

I've been angry the past two days. Not mildly irritated or frustrated, but full blown angry. I was (and still kinda am) angry because people weren't doing their jobs properly and were making the same mistake (over and over again, even after I pointed it out). I was angry because I had to spend time correcting their errors, and I was doubly angry because I would've been the person at a disadvantage if I hadn't picked up on the errors.

I don't think my anger is entirely unreasonable. But the frustrating thing is that when I'm angry, my emotional response can cause me to become a person I don't particularly like very much.

And this is where I've been really stretched this week.

Justified anger does not automatically give me permission to express it however I want. I've been thinking about the verse in Ephesians 4:26-27:

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

I find this piece of advice remarkably practical. It doesn't say, “Don't be angry.” It says, be angry ..... and don't sin.

It made me realize that I'm allowed to feel the emotion, really feel it, without taking it out on others.

That I can throw a little tantrum (note: I actually did this and kicked my bean bag!) in private, but still be kind when communicating with others.

That I can have a little (or a loooong) rant about the issue with my husband to blow off steam, and then be courteous when speaking with those involved.

And the best privilege of all: I can give it all up to Jesus and ask for the Holy Spirit to help me; knowing that He knows what it's like to be angry but still love the people who caused it.

Learning how to calmly process anger without letting it dictate my actions has been difficult.

No wonder self-control is listed as one of the fruits of the Spirit. Choosing to decide what to do with what I feel or don't feel is a continual learning process for me.

Because I don't think the goal is to become a person who never gets angry. I think the goal is to become a person whose anger is under control.

Even when I believe my anger is justified. ESPECIALLY when I believe my anger is justified.