Why is it so hard to follow through?

I had an interaction today that left me a lot confused, immensely curious, and a little bit annoyed.

Someone told me I had 48 hours to make a decision on something. I followed up immediately with a few clarifying questions, which were answered. Our short interaction ended with me asking to see my available options so that I could look through them and talk things through with my husband before deciding. I thought that was a fair request.

"I'll get back to you" was the answer I received. Then .... nothing. The entire day disappeared without any word.

When evening rolled around and I finally had time to think about the day, I recalled that I hadn't yet heard from this person. By now, I was down to 36 hours before this apparently urgent decision needed to be made, and I still didn't have the information I needed to actually make it.

So even though it was after 5 pm, I sent a message. I don't love contacting people after work hours. Everyone has personal lives and families and the right to not work after work hours. But I also couldn't afford to wait another day for this information.

I heard back rather quickly. After a few back and forth messages I finally received the information I needed, and the conversation ended because they had a prior engagement.

Meanwhile, I found myself apologizing for messaging after hours.

This whole episode made me wonder: why on earth do we communicate like this? Seriously. Why do we say, "I'll get back to you," and then don't? Why do we create urgency for someone else but not seem to feel any urgency ourselves? Why is following through so incredibly difficult?

I genuinely don't understand.

Now, before anyone comes after my throat, yes, I concur that people can forget. We're only humans with overflowing calendars, plenty of commitments, things that pop up unexpectedly, etc. We've all dropped the ball before; I know I certainly have and will be the first to admit that.

So yes, there's plenty of grace. One forgotten phone call or one forgotten commitment does not define a person.

But when it happens over, and over, and over again; when every conversation follows the same pattern; when "I'll get back to you" is the standard code for "You'll have to ask/remind me again," that's not life circumstance. It's not forgetfulness. That's a bad habit.

Not because of maliciousness, but because we've become careless with our words and priorities.

That makes me genuinely sad: why is it so hard to simply do what we said we'd do? Why can't we follow through when we say we'll follow through? Why can't we call when we say we'll call? And why can't we get back to someone when we say "I'll get back to you"?

Even if it's just sending a quick text that says, "Hey, I haven't forgotten you, but I unfortunately won't get to this until so-and-so time." It takes about 10 seconds - faster if you use predictive text - to type out.

But the value it provides the other person is priceless. Because broken commitments cause stress and anxiety. One person's forgotten reply becomes another person's overtime. One person's delay becomes someone else's shortened timeline. One person's silence causes unnecessary questions for the other party.

It also says something about us: that we are people who do what we say. That we can be trusted. That we keep our word. That we ARE our word.

Maybe that's why this bothers me more than it should have. It wasn't really about today. It was about the pattern. And if I'm honest, it also made me stop and ask myself an uncomfortable question.

Where do I do this? Not necessarily with replying to messages, but where do my words and my actions not align? Where do I casually say, "I'll do that," and then hope the other person forgets? Where have I indicated to people that I'm not reliable?

It's very easy to notice this habit in someone else, but it's harder to notice it in myself.

I still don't know why following through seems so difficult. Maybe we've normalised overcommitting or maybe we're too accustomed to carrying so many obligations that another promise barely registers. I don't know. But I do know this.

Reliability is becoming a rare and consistency has become increasingly uncommon. The people who simply do what they say they'll do stand out, without being flashy or complicated. Just honorable and trustworthy.

And that's the kind of person I want to be.