Lessons I learned from Letters From The Ginza Shihodo Stationery Shop

I've been reading this book for the past couple of weeks. Usually when I read, I just read for entertainment and set it aside once I'm finished. But I've recently been convicted about consuming without creating, so I thought I'd pen some thoughts down; stuff that struck me as being insightful as I read.

This book was made up of 5 short stories of customers that visited the stationery shop for one reason or another. The shop and the shop owner ends up being a vessel of healing and/or resolution for their life circumstances:

Chapter 1: Fountain pen

A story of a grandson who was raised by his grandmother. He wrote a letter to her in the stationery shop after receiving his first paycheck.

His grandmother gifted him with a Montblanc pen when he was 10. It was so beautiful and such a precious gift that he was reluctant to use it/bring it to school. He kept it in a drawer and forgot about it for many years. By the time he decided to use it, the ink in it had expired.

My takeaway: Use your gifts. Use them. Wear them out. They're not meant to be put into a box and kept away, hidden. Pull them out and use them or we'll either forget that we have them. By the time we remember, they would have 'expired'.

Chapter 2: Organiser

A story about an employer who treated her employee like her own daughter.

The employee has been offered a better position with better prospects and better pay, and feels like it is time to move on for her own growth (personal and career development). Because of the love her employer has shown her in the past, she finds it difficult to tell her employer that she wants to move on and decides to write a letter instead.

My takeaway: I love the line that the stationery shopkeeper said: "it's precisely the difficult messages that should be said to a person's face."

I agree. Some things should be communicated in person. More often than not, the more vulnerable, honest, or raw a topic is, the more difficult it is. And as humans, we often want to run, hide and escape rather than bring it to the forefront and discuss it. But it's precisely these topics that should be discussed in person. It's the only way to honor and respect the other person, as well as the relationship. Only then can the relationship grow and flourish all the more.

Chapter 3: Notebooks

A story about two teenagers, the captain and vice-captain of the archery club at school. They use a Campus notebook to document the members’ progress and log all their training sessions and results. In the process, the notebook acts as a medium of communication and encouragement between themselves.

The vice-captain reminisces about their time together and is grieved at the thought of saying goodbye to the captain; a boy she has had feelings for since the beginning of their time together at high school. She is thinking of a way to express her feelings when the stationery shop owner gifts her a brand-new Campus notebook (one identical to the one they took archery club notes in). He advises her to start a ‘new chapter’ by communicating with the boy using the new notebook. Same method of communication, but with a fresh start. She began her first entry in the notebook by expressing her feelings for him.

My takeaway: Endings are sad. There is a wealth of treasure in good memories and looking back into the past, and good things that come to an end deserve to be grieved. It helps to look back fondly at them and reminisce. But at the same time, a beginning of something means that there will also be and end. And it’s precisely because there’s an end that there can be a new beginning. And so we can simultaneously grieve the end and celebrate the beginnings. They are not mutually exclusive.

Chapter 4: Postcards

A story of a man who was requested to give a eulogy at his ex-wife’s funeral.

The man, married and divorced a total of three times, was unsure of what to say or how to say it well. In need of inspiration, he visits the stationery shop to enlist the help of the bookstore owner. During the course of their time together, he shared the story of how he originally met and fell in love with his ex-wife, the story of their divorce, and how he went on to marry (and divorce) another two women. His decision to use a standard eulogy was thwarted when the bookstore owner did not enclose provide him with a copy of the eulogy text, but instead included a note that encouraged him to share sincere words from his heart instead. At the end of the funeral, his daughter showed him the ‘treasures’ that his ex-wife had kept all these years: every single postcard he had sent her during their courtship.

My takeaways: I had a few from this story.

-          Change is not always good. Upon entering the stationery shop, the man came to realize that the lack of change in the stationery shop made him feel calm, relieved, and grateful. It helped him relax. It made me reflect on the fact that there is comfort that can be drawn from the familiar. While change is good and necessary for progress’ sake, it is helpful to keep a small subset of things in our lives ‘as they are’ so that we have something/someplace familiar to return to when we need that comfort.

-          We shouldn’t assume that people who are important to us will always be there, so be sure to tell them and show them how important they are while they’re around. You never know: the note you write them without much thought could be their most prized possession.

Chapter 5: Memo pads

A story of a man who is opening a new restaurant at a later stage in life. He debates whether or not to send an announcement/invitation to a previous boss who taught him everything he knows. He feels indebted and sorry because he left his employment without notice in order to not cause his boss any trouble (he had a bad debt and was being chased by loan sharks). One of the things his boss taught him to do was to take extensive notes in Rhodia memo pads; hence the name of the chapter. The man ultimately decides to send his ex-boss an announcement, and they meet again after many years of estrangement.

My takeaways: I had PLENTY of takeaways from this one story! Perhaps it’s because I’m noticing more the further I venture into this book, but this chapter was absolute GOLD.

-          Active listening involves a LOT of listening and very little speaking. People appreciate being heard rather than advised. Or perhaps, I should say, people appreciate advice only AFTER they know they have been heard. Throughout the narration, the stationery owner kept his silence and avoided unnecessary comments. He encouraged the continuation of the story with occasional nods and patient, silent waiting; something that the man noticed an appreciated.

-          We all start at zero. It doesn’t matter how much education one has, it’s experience that truly counts; how much one can DO the thing. Knowledge is one thing, practice is another. There a passage where the boss tells the man to not worry about not having any cooking experience: “No one can do anything in the beginning. Everyone working at my restaurant started as an amateur, including me. A few graduated from culinary school, but even those guys are useless in the beginning.”

-          It’s all about the heart and the ‘why’ beneath the outward action. As the boss says: “No matter how skilled a person is, if they’re rotten inside, they can’t make good food. Conversely, if you’re green, but your heart is in the right place and you have the drive to improve, you’ll be fine.”

[Note: I still have to sit with this one, and perhaps meditate on it with a cup of tea. I know that God looks at the heart, but I fail to comprehend how others will be able to tell between good food made with a good heart vs good food that’s made with a ‘bad’ heart. Unless they can see behind the scenes, food that tastes good tastes good, regardless of the motivation behind it, no? But if we’re looking at things with an eternal lens, I 100% agree with this.]

-          Experience is the best teacher. People can give us tips or tricks or suggestions on best practices, but the most efficient way to do something is by experimenting and discovering the best way that works for us. Everyone is different. The man noticed this while assigned to his first role in the kitchen as the person in charge of washing dishes: “At first I washed in the way I was taught by the other guys, but bit by bit I got the hang of it and came up with my own little tricks. I experimented with soaps, brushes and sponges, and it was so interesting; every time I tried something new, I found there was more to discover……Thanks in part to those efforts, the time I spent washing dishes gradually decreased. Although none of it was that big a deal, seeing results after thinking for myself – like lunchtime dishes being done thirty minutes faster or closing cleanup taking fifteen fewer minutes – made me happy.”

-          There are things that you have to have personal contact with in order to notice. The man talked about washing vegetables in the frigid water during winter. While rubber gloves were an option, he did not use them because donning gloves would eliminate his sense of feel/touch. There are things that we can feel via touch that we can miss with our eyes. He says, “I can tell if an ingredient is no good just by setting it on the palm of my hand. So I learned from washing vegetables that no matter how cold it is, you have to touch things directly with your hands.” Now, this part of the story is only talking about vegetables, but I can’t help but think that this applies to other parts of life as well. For example, relationships. Relationships are only personal, deep, and intimate when there is vulnerability; which by extension means that the possibility of being hurt is very real. We can put on masks and be the person the other party wants us to be (the equivalent of donning a glove), but that would eliminate the depth and authenticity of the relationship. I imagine this to be the same of our relationship with God. To wrestle with Him during the difficult times is to be ‘washing vegetables using cold water in winter’. Without embracing the cold, I would not be able to truly KNOW God and have a deep relationship with Him.

-          Little snippets of life lessons that the boss imparted to the man were great reminders for me as well! Note: this next portion contains a lot of quotes from the book:

a) “Take good care of your tools or they won’t do what you want them to” – this reminded me to take care of myself so that I can take care of others in my life.

b) “Anyone who is wasteful won’t improve …. We need to show our gratitude by not wasting anything …. If we’re truly thankful, we can’t be careless with the fruits of someone else’s labour” – this reminded me of why I need to be wise in my stewardship of all that God has given to me.

c) “Whenever you greet someone, make sure it’s loud and clear. If the person you’re talking to doesn’t hear you, it’s the same as if you never said it at all” – clear communication is key! If what we say is not heard, or heard wrongly, or misinterpreted, it’s as if we never said it, or said it wrongly, or miscommunicated. And that’s on ME. I can do something about it.

d) “Invest half of your salary in yourself. Buy yourself good tools. Care for your equipment and it will last you your whole life. Try eating at first-rate restaurants. It’ll help train your eye and you can learn from how other chefs innovate. Visit art and history museums, see movies and plays, read books – push yourself to acquire culture. The people who say, “I don’t get it”, or “It’s boring” just haven’t really given whatever it is a chance. If you visit an art museum a hundred times, your eye will develop naturally. Once you’ore able to really “see”, you’ll begin to take an interest in the paintings themselves and the artists. If you research them, you’ll find out all sorts of things you didn’t know before …. Knowing even a bit about those topics will make the art far more compelling.” - This, just wow. It was such a good reminder to always be humbly learning without being judgmental. The fact that I don’t appreciate something doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable or interesting; it just means I haven’t tried to understand it enough OR I haven’t acquired sufficient knowledge to appreciate it.

e) “Ultimately, whether you grow or not depends on your will to improve. And it’s easy to tell if someone has the will to improve or not. It’s whether they take notes or not – that’s it.” – This one hit close to home. The differentiation between growing or not is dependent on whether or not someone is solely consuming or consuming and creating at the same time (the creating being note-taking in this instance). I guess this is why I’m writing these notes down; I have a desire to grow.

Final thoughts:

It wasn’t entertaining by any normal means, but it captivated me nonetheless because it made me reflect on life and our day-to-day living. If there’s one thing I can say, it’s that I wish this stationery shop actually exists – I would be a regular customer. And then I remembered: this is the type of space I had in mind when I started creating the Being True sanctuary.

Maybe that’s why I love this book so much.