In memory of Granny

The 4th of July was two days ago. It's a date that's easy to remember because it's Independence Day in the United States. But the date holds a different significance for me, because it's more personal - it's Granny's (my maternal grandmother) birthday.

Granny was a fixture in my life when I was growing up. I last saw her in 2019 before her death in 2021.

I thought about Granny on the 4th. I don't know why but it didn't cross my mind to write about her on the day (I wrote about problems again, even though I had written about it two days prior.......not being able to ruminate about problems is obviously really bothering me!)

But it struck me today that I would like to remember her somehow. I suppose a good way of doing that is by writing (and or reading) about her.

I have a lot of memories about Granny, but the ones I would like to recall and remember today are the two that I shared in my book (Finding Me) so I will attach them below.

I love you Granny. Miss you heaps ♥️

Excerpt taken from Finding Me (2022):

My grandmother was born in China in 1926. She was brought to Malaysia (then known as Malaya) as a child and adopted by a local family. I don’t know the full details of why she had to leave China or how she came to reside in Malaysia, but China was going through a period of civil unrest during her childhood years, so I can only hazard a guess that this was why she left. Fortunately for her, the family she was adopted into was quite well-to-do and provided her with nothing but the best, education included. One of the things that surprised Rod (my husband) when he first met my grandmother was the fact that she spoke fluent English, a rarity for someone her age who didn’t grow up in a country where English is the main language.

My grandmother entered into an arranged marriage during her teenage years; the nuptials were expedited due to the Japanese occupation of Malaya in 1941. However, the marriage did not last. In later years, my grandfather left her for another woman, leaving my grandmother to raise nine children on her own. Talk about a financial dilemma! But my grandmother was a strong woman. She had to put food on the table somehow and was now the sole provider for the household. She couldn’t leave home to work full time due to her children, so she played to her strengths and brought the work home — she nannied. Luckily for her, there were no limits to childcare numbers then, unlike today’s regulations. She and her family wouldn’t have been able to survive otherwise.

Shortly after my brother was born, my grandmother moved in with us. Both my parents worked full time in order to support us, a fact that my brother and I will forever be grateful for. However, the lack of a stay-at-home parent meant we had to search for an alternative solution for our household needs. My brother and I were very fortunate that my grandmother agreed to help with childcare. She raised my brother and me to be the fine individuals we are today (and as you can see, humility was one of the many traits she instilled in us).

One of my earliest and fondest memories of my grandmother is of me helping her iron. Now that I think about it, I was no help whatsoever. It wasn’t all my fault, though. The ‘iron’ she provided me with was a little rectangular broken alarm clock.¹ I could never understand how her shirts turned out so crisp and smooth, whereas the little handkerchief I was charged with stayed so rumpled no matter how hard I pressed. If you’re chuckling at this image, remember that I was only around five and gullible.

The other memory I have of her that really stands out is her doing the laundry on a little scrubbing board.² My grandmother was convinced this was the way to wash clothing properly. She had no trust in machines that, in her opinion, just swirled clothes around in dirty water. What was that going to achieve? While she scrubbed and viciously beat at the laundry, I would sit on a stool a little distance away and recite my times tables. We even had occasional quizzes, where she’d suddenly ask, “What’s five multiplied by nine?” and I would answer as quickly as I could.

Thank you, Granny. You’re the reason I know my times tables back to front even today.